Pregnant Bridesmaid - Professional Photos

Esme's wedding photographer posted some photos. The pictures are awesome!  Esme is stunning, and I didn't turn out half bad. :)

24 Weeks, 2 Days - I'm Getting Bigger. How Can I Tell?

I can feel the bottoms of my boobs touch the top of my belly! And it's kind of sweaty there. Ewwww....

24 Weeks 1 Day - Cravings During This Pregnancy

My cravings during this pregnancy haven't been as strong in some  ways, but every so often I get a nagging, "Ooh, that sounds pretty good right now."  For example,  right now I'm thinking  a lot about those yogurt covered star cookies from Trader Joes.

I think this time I've been craving salty and savory foods and meat items, which is funny because last time I didn't care much for meat at all.

Some things that I have been eating more of than I usually do, or that seem to always sound pretty good to me:

• Everything bagel with reduced fat cream cheese from Panera Bread
• Tempura Udon when I'm in Portland
• Banh mi sandwiches from Banh Mi San Marcos
• Pho
• Taco Bell tacos with cinnamon twists
• Costco hot dog
• Hamburger and fries
• Clam Chowder with Sourdough bread when I'm in Seattle
• Pizza
• Coffee ice cream
• Yellowtail sashimi
• Dim Sum

I've also definitely been more lenient about what I eat this second time around.  For example, I've had yellowtail sushi about three times.  Just one order at a time.  Last time I didn't even think about touching raw fish.  I've had cold cuts, like turkey and roast beef.  Last time I avoided it unless I didn't have any other choice.  This time I've had pasteurized brie,  and have taken an occasional sip of wine just to taste it.  Last time I avoided both of these like the plague.  Oh  and soft serve. I've had that too. And I've even  been drinking decaf coffee and a green tea once in a while.  I've learned what that I don't have to completely deprive myself as long as I stay reasonable and moderate about things.  It's funny how the 2nd time around, you just worry less... well in my case, I've been so busy with work  that I don't  really have time to worry about this pregnancy.  

My belly seems to have sprung out overnight! Just in the last three weeks it's  doubled in size! Things are getting uncomfortable, and I'm finally feeling like a pregnant lady.  It kind of sucks, but I'm more excited about it.  I'm finally feeling in touch with my pregnant self, which I haven't really felt up until now.  I know this is where I begin to enjoy the journey of being pregnant and I'm  looking forward to it...swollen  feet, aching back, and all!

23 Weeks, 1 Day - The Pregnant Bridesmaid

Back when  I first started this blog in April, I wrote this post on things that I was worried about.  One of them was about how I had become pregnant a couple months earlier than  I had expected, and that the dress I had ordered for Esme's wedding wasn't going to fit me by the time the wedding came along:

2) This seems pretty minor, but for some reason I’m stressed about it. For Esme’s wedding, I ordered a dress that’s one size larger in anticipation of getting pregnant. Now I’m worried that it won’t be big enough and that I won’t have a dress for her wedding. This seems so trivial as I’m writing this, but I don’t want to be a burden to her and her wedding. I’ve called the consultant to see if I can switch to another dress. Something tells me I won’t be able to, and I guess I’ll just make do with whatever happens.

Here's a picture of the dress:

Notice how form fitting it is, especially around the torso? With my normal Sharon body, this would have been an awesome dress, and would have looked great on me.  With a pregnant Sharon body? Not as much so.

Well, as it turned out, I wasn't allowed to return the dress, or swap for a larger one since I had already put my order in.  Three weeks ago, I went to Patty's house to pick up my dress.  My bump was already starting to make itself known, so I thought I'd try it on just to see how it looked.  As it turned out, it fit juuuuuuust right.  This actually was NOT a good thing, because if I got any bigger, this dress WOULD NOT fit! And I knew I was going to get bigger!

Last week, on the day of Esme's bridal shower, I tried the dress on again.  Yup, it zipped up still, but the entire dress shifted UP to where the top of the bodice was by my collarbone and the skirt was mid-thigh.  Oh no, this was not going to do AT ALL!! And this was a whole week before the wedding-- who knew how much more I was going to grow over the next week?

I had a plan though.  I remember how my wedding dress, which had been used on the set of Passions the soap opera (shameless plug!), came with a panel of fabric in the back where the zipper was.  I guess the actress who had worn the dress was too busty for the dress and couldn't zip it all the way up, so the tailor added the panel to connect the unzipped back together.  I had plans to do something similar, and went on Sunday (a week ago) to Joanns Fabrics to get the materials to do this.  But since I knew I was going to get bigger, I waited as long as I could to modify the dress since I knew I'd get bigger even just over the course of another week.  Plus I was in Portland and Seattle for work anyway, and couldn't get around to it until this past Friday (the day before the wedding)!  At the bridal shower, the girls asked me what I was going to do with my dress.  "Don't worry!" I told them, "I've got a plan!"  Yeah, I've got a plan, I thought, "But probably not a very good one,  and it's probably going to look not-so-good." Inside I had my fingers crossed that I'd be able to pull off some miracle with this dress.

Friday turned out to be a super busy day.  I had gotten home from Portland the night before at around 12:30 am, and was soooo tired when I woke up.  The morning  started out spending some QT with little Audrey and I made her some breakfast and sat with her.  Then I was on a conference call from 8-9.  Then we dropped Audrey off at day care and went to our OB/Gyn appointment at 10 am (more on that later).  We got home at 11:30 am, and that's when I started to work on the dress.  Very quickly, I realized that the fabric panel was not going to work... with my bulging belly, some places needed to be looser and others needed to be tighter... there was no precise way to sew eye hooks into the fabric panel to match my weird pregnant contours. I wasn't sure what I was going to do.  I jumped onto another call, at 1 pm, which went until 1:30. During that call, I had a sudden epiphany: a drawstring back! Like a corset! That would make it loose and tight where I needed it to! That's what I would do!

But  I didn't have the chance to try making one.  By the time I got off of the phone,  I had to get ready to go to Esme's rehearsal, which was scheduled for 3:30, and which meant that I had to leave the house by 2:30 latest.  Stu and I ended up talking after my call since we hadn't seen each other all week, and I didn't realize how quickly time passed.  I looked at the clock and it was 2:45!! By the time I got out of the house, it was 3:00!! I got there 15 minutes late, but just in time for the rehearsal to start.  PHEW!

By the time I got home from the rehearsal dinner, it was 11 pm.  FINALLY, I could start on modifying the dress! Esme had bought me some of the fabric that the dress was made of,  and I took that and cut some strips and began sewing them into ribbon cords to make the loops and the drawstring for the back of the dress.  By 2:00 am, I was close to being done.  I was so tired.  I had to wake Stu up to help me try on the dress.  It wasn't the cleanest work, but it was functional... and it  was  also  really tight, making it hard to breathe.  Oh well, I thought, this was as good as it was going to get.

The next (i.e.later that) morning I woke up at 6 am to work on the veil to help cover the corset back since it was so lumpy looking.  I started out with a needle and thread, but quickly abandoned that for the glue gun, which made it so much faster.  By 6:45 I was done, and I jumped in the shower, gathered all of my stuff up, and dashed out the door bu 7:20 to be at Esme's hotel for hair and makeup by 8 am.  I was running late again, which lately seems to be the story of my life.

Here's how the dress turned out:

Well, all in all it turned out OK.  I was a little worried at the church when I was first wearing the dress because it felt really tight around my torso, and I could hardly breathe.  And the church was really hot and for little while there, I was sweaty and a little short of breath and started seeing spots.  Patty helped me loosen the back a little and it seemed to help, but it was still very uncomfortable.  I didn't know how I was going to  make  it to the reception, and was ready to switch into my backup dress, which was my bridesmaid dress from Luisa's wedding.  Luckily, the dress expanded throughout the day, and by the time the reception came along, it actually fit fairly comfortably!!  It all worked out in the end!

Here are some pics from the wedding.  Dress looked good.  Mommy and Daddy looked good.  Audrey was super cute and had lots for fun with Charlotte and Mikayla.  Overall it was a great day.

And I guess that's the moral of the story.  That things seem to work themselves out.  I'll have to remember that during the moments that I worry and lose sleep during this pregnancy.

18 Weeks, 2 Days - It's A Girl!!

We're having another girl!! Audrey is going to have a little sister!! On Saturday, 7/27, my Gong-gong and Po-po came down to watch Audrey while we went to get our ultrasound done to check out Baby #2's bits and pieces.  

Last time when I was pregnant with Audrey, 

15 Weeks 2 Days - So Much Going On

Being pregnant the second time around really is different.  I guess that's not the most ground breaking statement, but I think the biggest difference that I've noticed is the huge lack of time compared to my first pregnancy.

What did I have to deal with during my first pregnancy? Not much in hindsight. At work I was in a nice project lull because we had just lost LA-RICS, and while there wasn't a whole lot to do on the project, I remained assigned to it since it could start back up at any time.  At home, it was just Stu and Maggie, and they didn't really mind that I traveled up to LA every other week for LA-RICS.  I had plenty of time to blog and plan and think about the new baby and fancy how life would change when she arrived.  I also had the luxury of spending a lot of time sitting on the couch watching TV.  I had so much time to just enjoy being pregnant.

Well this second pregnancy isn't nearly as leisurely.  In some ways it's much more stressful.  I've been traveling almost every week over the past two months... In fact, let's take a look at how much I've traveled since I got pregnant:

• April 21 - Found out we were pregnant
• May 5-8 - Austin, TX
• May 12-17 - Vancouver, WA (and during Mother's Day and my birthday! BOOHOO)
• May 28-30 - Seattle, WA
• June 10-12 - Portland,  OR
• June 24-25 - Seattle, WA
• June 26-27 - Portland, OR
• July 8 (today) - 9 - Seattle, WA
• July 10-12 - Spokane, WA

And that's not all! I'm pretty much doing some travel every week in July.  Who knows what August has in store for me.  When I'm not traveling or working, I'm spending as much time as I can with Audrey.  She's so much fun right now at this age, but she's also a handful! When you're with her, you're on duty the whole time, either playing with her, watching her to make sure she stays out of trouble, or trying to figure out why she's having a tantrum.  Her terrible twos seem to be quickly approaching!  So between work and Audrey, I've had very little time to think/obsess about this pregnancy.  

I told Stu the other day that I feel a lot more tired with this pregnancy.  Well, no wonder!! With all the traveling and chasing Audrey around, my energy is already accounted for.  Luckily, as I've entered the 2nd trimester, I'm feeling much more energetic than I did during my first trimester.  During the first three months, there were days that I felt like I just couldn't handle everything that was going on, and my patience was low with everything around me-- including with Audrey (why won't she just listen to me??).  But now I feel much more equipped to deal with things.  Feeling energetic makes all the difference in the world!

Some updates about the pregnancy...

I had some bleeding in early June-- not bright red blood or anything, just old brown blood.. but more than usual and enough to make me worried.  On June 10th, a Monday, I was supposed to fly to Portland in the morning, but I changed my flight to an evening flight so I could see the doctor and get it checked out before I left.  She did an ultrasound and we saw the little jelly bean in there looking fine and dandy and that eased some of my worries.  Then the doctor asked me if I traveled a lot, and I told her that I did and would be for the next few months.  I guess I didn't look too happy about that and she asked if there was anything she could do to help me travel less.  I told her not really and that I have to travel because I'm in charge of a couple of projects.  She nodded and said sympathetically, "I know it's hard being a working mom."  And I'm not sure what hit me-- maybe it was the words, or the genuine tone of her voice, but I started breaking down into tears.  I couldn't help it.  I'll write more about this some other time, but being a working mom (especially one that is pregnant) IS hard!  And I feel guilty all the time too.  But again, more on that some other time.  Maybe I was crying because I was relieved to find out that the baby was okay too.

We had our nuchal ultrasound on Friday, 6/21.  It's basically an ultrasound that allows you to measure the fluid behind the fetus' spinal chord to determine if it is at risk of any birth defects-- primarily down syndrome and a few others that I can't remember.  Last time when I was pregnant with Audrey, I didn't do the nuchal, and just did the traditional blood tests.  But the results of the blood test takes a lot longer than the nuchal and you don't find out until the baby is about 4-5 months along.  I didn't know this at the time, but the baby at 4-5 months is like a real baby! The stakes are so much higher at that point.  I had no idea at the time, and thank goodness Audrey was perfectly healthy.  This time, since I'm a little older and closer to 35, I didn't want to wait so long to find out.  So we had our nuchal ultrasound and got to see the jelly bean once again... hands, feet, brain heart... and to our relief, the measurements along with the first blood tests came back all negative!  The ultrasound technician asked if we wanted to know the gender, and I said yes, but only if she was absolutely sure.  She couldn't tell from the ultrasound... BUT after the ultrasound, Stu and I both commented on how, when the technician was scanning from one leg to the other, we could have sworn we saw a little stick popping out! Maybe it's a boy!  We'll find out for sure in a few weeks.  I still have a second round of blood tests coming up, and I'm hoping those will be smooth sailing as well.

Last Monday I had a bit of a scare at my 14 Week appointment with Dr. Dilauro.  When she took the heart rate monitor to my belly, for a minute there, there was NO HEARTBEAT! I freaked out a little but she moved the monitor around, then finally there it was... very faint, but definitely there! I guess the baby is so small that the heartbeat can be hard to pick up sometimes.  It was nice and healthy, which was a big relief to me.

I'm sure I'll get more excited about this pregnancy as it becomes more and more real...like when I can feel the baby kicking....

Start baby registry...maybe that will get me excited! :)

8 Weeks, 6 Days - Jelly bean #2

Here is jelly bean #2! We had a great appointment today. Everything looks nice and healthy. I have Dr.  Dilauro this time.  I'd seen her before when  I was pregnant with Audrey, when I had experienced some bleeding...she seems pretty nice.  She's not  as outgoing or over-the-top  as Dr. Block, but she's very calm.  

I know this seems like a silly thing to say, but when I saw this image,  the first thing  I thought was, "Wow, this  jelly bean looks different from Audrey!" Well, duh, it is a different baby (and a different machine).  

As usual, seeing the little jelly bean in these makes this whole pregnancy seem more real.  I don't  look pregnant.  I feel sick from time to time, but other than that, no one can tell.  There is  a lot in store for us, and it'll be interesting to see how this pregnancy pans out.  It's kind of weird starting all over again, but having been through it once already, it also feels a lot less mysterious, and I feel  much more prepared!!

6 weeks 1 day - Sicko

I'm sitting in the San Diego airport commuter terminal waiting for my flight to LA, where I week then take a plane to Austin, TX. I feel sooooooooo blah. I've been feeling this easy for the last couple of days. All those darn hormones peaking in my body. Each day it's gotten worse. So far today had been the worst. Constantly feeling like throwing up, and then superhungry, and then too full, and then nauseated again...it's a vicious cycle. So bad that I've caved and already called Travis to warn him about it. He sounded pretty happy for me  and hopefully hell be sympathetic to my feeling icky  and cranky and help me out if I need to bail back to the hotel early. I'm pretty worried about how I'm going to make it over the next two weeks with all this traveling. I've pulled out all of the stops for this trip. I've got gum, candy, ginger candy, Tums...I even went so far as to get so sea bands on the way here. They seemed to help last time I was pregnant, at least a little. Arrrgh.

6 Weeks

It's 3:40 in the morning.  I have a bowl of hot noodles in front of me.  I can't sleep.  Audrey woke up around 2, and luckily Stu went to get her, but  I had the hardest time  going back to sleep.  It was too hot.  Then it was too cold.  Then I felt thirsty, but then I also felt nauseated.  Then I tossed and turned in bed and worries started to enter my head...

With morning sickness starting to rear its ugly head, how am I supposed to deal with work over the next two weeks? I'm going to be traveling and meeting with customers and will be trying to get a demo together that currently doesn't exist.  I've been so tired these last two days, I have no idea how I'll last.

And then there was the worry about the health of the baby.  There's nothing I can do about it other than try to take care of myself, but I worry about the things that could go wrong with this pregnancy.  I guess it's normal at this stage, with so much ahead of me.  I had these same worries I think with the first pregnancy, but I also remember that once the 2nd trimester rolled around, I didn't think much about it.  I hope that'll be the same case here. I guess now that I know how much I love Audrey, and knowing how much I'll love this new baby, it scares me when I think of anything going wrong.

And finally there was the worry of who would watch Audrey when I went into labor.  What happens if the baby comes early and no one's around?  This one is a bit irrational because I know there will be a plan by that point, but I still worry.  Just want to make sure my big baby is taken care of.

I started to feel really overwhelmed and began to cry.  Stu woke up and heard me crying and he began to gently slap me on the arm.  "I've heard that this is very comforting," he said.  Audrey had been patting her Violet dog on the back tonight before going to bed.  That made me laugh a little.

I decided to just get up and get a drink.  I walked into the kitchen and thought, "Noodles."  And here I am.  The Cleveland Show helps a little too.

I hope I don't regret eating these salty noodles.  It'll just make me more thirsty and not sleep. Sigh...

The Schedule

Due Date	12/27/2013		Conception	4/6/2013
Pregnancy Test	4/20/2013		1st Heartbeat	5/4/2013
Quickening	7/27/2013		Viability	9/7/2013
Week 1	3/30/2013		Week 22	8/24/2013
Week 2	4/6/2013		Week 23	8/31/2013
Week 3	4/13/2013		Week 24	9/7/2013
Week 4	4/20/2013		Week 25	9/14/2013
Week 5	4/27/2013		Week 26	9/21/2013
Week 6	5/4/2013		Week 27	9/28/2013
Week 7	5/11/2013		Week 28	10/5/2013
Week 8	5/18/2013		Week 29	10/12/2013
Week 9	5/25/2013		Week 30	10/19/2013
Week 10	6/1/2013		Week 31	10/26/2013
Week 11	6/8/2013		Week 32	11/2/2013
Week 12	6/15/2013		Week 33	11/8/2013
Week 13	6/22/2013		Week 34	11/15/2013
Week 14	6/29/2013		Week 35	11/22/2013
Week 15	7/6/2013		Week 36	11/29/2013
Week 16	7/13/2013		Week 37	12/6/2013
Week 17	7/20/2013		Week 38	12/13/2013
Week 18	7/27/2013		Week 39	12/20/2013
Week 19	8/3/2013		Week 40	12/27/2013
Week 20	8/10/2013		Week 41	1/3/2014
Week 21	8/17/2013		Week 42	1/10/2014

Blog #2

I've started this blog, Blog #2, to record my thoughts and feelings about this second  pregnancy.  I've been reading my blog posts from my 1st pregnancy, and I'm really glad I had documented it to the extent that I had because it helps me see what's coming up.  It's also fun to see how this pregnancy compares and contrasts with the first one.

For example, I'm almost 5 weeks pregnant.  In my first pregnancy, I was getting cravings and nausea by the sixth week.  I remember it being fairly unpleasant.   Right now  I'm feeling the tiredness and nausea, but no food cravings or aversions just yet.

There are a lot of things that I experienced in the first pregnancy and with the first child birth where I thought, I will never ever forget this! But here I am 2 years later, and it's apparent that I've remembered very little.  As they say, after the first year or two of your child's life, the amnesia kicks in.  Thank goodness for that! I think if it weren't for the amnesia, the human race would have never thrived because no one would want to go through the birthing process again!!

I'm not sure yet if I'll make this blog public like I did with the first one, or just keep it private for Stu and me. The first time I was pregnant, I wanted to express myself because it was all so new and mysterious to me, and I wanted to compare notes and be a resource with other pregnant moms.  It was like riding a roller coaster for the first time and being so excited about it that you wanted to document every twist and turn of this awesome ride.

Now I'm riding the roller coaster for the second time, and it's still pretty darn awesome and exciting,  but some of the big dips or 360 turns aren't as surprising as they were the first time. The adrenaline is still pumping, but not as hard because I know what to expect, and I think I'll come off of this ride a little less dizzy.  

This pregnancy feels a little more personal.  Whereas in my first pregnancy, most of my attention was on my body and the physical changes through the pregnancy, this second round seems to be much more emotional and psychological.  My worries this time are less about creating this baby than it is creating a loving and balanced environment for all of us to thrive in.

So we'll see...

Initial Thoughts on Paper

We’re having another baby! Or well, I took a pregnancy test on Sunday, and it came out positive.

This second time around definitely feels different than the first time. There is still the same kind of excitement and giddiness about having a baby, but the worries are different. In fact last night I woke up at 3am and I couldn't go back to sleep because of some of these worries.

My worries right now:

1) At work, a lot of people want me to work on their projects this year. If I wasn’t pregnant, this would probably be a big year for me, but frankly I’m more excited about advancing my family than my career at this very moment. I’m not necessarily worried about the logistics of taking maternity leave and all that, but I still worry a little about how this will impact my job and how much I can participate in projects. I worry that if I take too much on, that I’ll be too stressed and that it will hurt my pregnancy. At least Jim Stowe is around and can help carry the load. I’m also trying to figure out when to tell my teammates about this. I’d like to wait until the 12-week mark, but I may have to reveal it sooner. I also worry that my morning sickness may interfere with me having to be onsite with my co-workers. In any case, I’ll be telling my boss today since we’ll be talking about which projects I’ll be working on this year.

2) This seems pretty minor, but for some reason I’m stressed about it. For Esme’s wedding, I ordered a dress that’s one size larger in anticipation of getting pregnant. Now I’m worried that it won’t be big enough and that I won’t have a dress for her wedding. This seems so trivial as I’m writing this, but I don’t want to be a burden to her and her wedding. I’ve called the consultant to see if I can switch to another dress. Something tells me I won’t be able to, and I guess I’ll just make do with whatever happens.

3) Looks like the new baby is going to be a Christmas baby! That worries me because that means everyone around us (our neighbors) will likely be out of town when the new baby comes. Who would take care of Audrey as I’m being rushed to the hospital? I guess we’re going to have to talk to my parents about planning to spend Christmas at our house this year. :)

4) Where is the new baby going to sleep? The logical answer is in our room in the bassinet, just like Audrey did, and then eventually move him/her to the new room, which would be where the office is right now. I don’t necessarily like the idea of the baby sleeping in that room since the window faces the porch, and as a result feels less safe, but I guess we have no choice. I know there are ways we can make it feel safer. And I’m sure an additional video baby monitor will do a lot to make us feel better.

5) How will Audrey feel with the new baby around? Right now she gets all the attention, and with her going through her toddler stage, she needs it even more. Some days I worry more about this and other days it seems to be just fine. Like right now, I feel fairly calm and certain that we can prep her for the new baby, and hopefully she’ll be too young to remember that she was ever jealous, but you hear stories of toddlers saying things like, “I hate the new baby,” and that just breaks my heart. I loved being a little sibling and being a big sister. Hopefully Audrey will too.

6) When should I tell people the news? Right now, only Stu and I know, and after today my boss will know too. I’m mostly inclined to start telling close friends and whatnot from the 10th week and on. That’s what I did last time. My plan right now is to tell my parents and Helen on Mother’s Day with a card showing a picture of the positive pregnancy test. But I feel guilty not telling Luisa and Karen earlier than that. Last time they knew pretty early.

7) How in the world am I going to manage a full-time job, a toddler, and this pregnancy? And taking it a step further, how are we going to manage a baby aaand Audrey at the same time? She seems to be so much work right now, and I remember how much work she was as a baby. To combine the efforts between the two into one seems so daunting and overwhelming. I guess this is why a good length maternity leave is so important—to get a lot of that out of the way!

8) Then of course, there are just the usual natural worries that something will go wrong with the pregnancy or the baby. This I know I have no control over, other than to try to eat healthy and take care of myself.

I’m sure there are others that I haven’t named off here. As with all major things in life, I’ll just take this one step at a time. It’ll be interesting to come back to this journal entry in 9-10 months after the baby has arrived and to evaluate how things turned out.

I've read in articles that the second pregnancy is different from the first one, but the most marked difference is that the second time goes a lot faster. Guess I’ll have to hold on tight for the ride!

Here We Go Again...

So I'm pregnant again. The first day of my last period was 3/23/2013, making my due date 12/28/2013. Looks like we'll be having a Christmas baby!! This makes me about 4 weeks pregnant right now, even though we conceived about three weeks ago (on April 5) and I've only known that I'm pregnant for three days now. The symptoms are starting to show. I've had a few very slight waves of nausea, although i fully anticipate that these will only get worse over the next few weeks. today my boobs started to hurt a little bit. and my belly is starting to get bigger and flabbier. it's hard to tell whether my belly is getting big because of the pregnancy or because I'm just getting fat. lets hope its the pregnancy and not fat. I gained a lot of weight in the first pregnancy and thank God I was able to lose most of it. but I don't think I'll be so lucky the second time around. my metabolism is not as high as it used to be and if I gain this much weight this time, it'll probably be a lot harder to lose it this go around. we shall see.